So triggered right now…

Ahh, haven’t been triggered in a long time, so here I am again! Triggering away.

Well, this time it is a very legit reason to why my fuse was blown. Michelle’s guild in WoW… not the most LGBTQ+ friendly guild there is. I can take that. I can ignore it, I can. I really… really can – although with a lot of struggles but I can if I just put my mind to it. Unless it is turned towards Michelle. It just… makes me see red.

Usually a good friend of mine is a good stop button, I do not take it further and I do not contact the people I hear/read/know is being ignorant/bigotted. Because I know Michelle has talked with them personally about it, but they just do not seem to care.

This time it is them misgendering her and still calling her an old name she really wants to get removed from herself. I know people feel that respect should be earned, but I think it is a basic human right to receive the tiniest amount of respect someone can muster up, at the very least be respected enough to be called their preferred pronouns and names.

The reason I am not contacting the people are mostly because I do not want people to have hostile feelings against Michelle because of me. I really do not want to cause more problems for Michelle than necessary, but this is just something that hits every single trigger in me. It is so darn disrespectful and utterly ignorant.

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It is NOT hard.
It is harder for the person being misgendered and disrespected than it is for YOU to adjust one single word. It is NOT up for debate.

Look at all this shit I found!

I have gotten in contact with a lot of very hateful shit lately and I just wanted to share them here. Let’s start with Soldiers of Odin, shall we?

I had no idea this organization existed until I read about that they want to “fix” the whole immigrant issues and exterminate the disease known as homosexuality. I am not even making this up, they have literally on multiple occasions spread their message loud and clear. They might deny that they are a neo-Nazi group but their actions speak louder than their words, maybe the intent wasn’t to become one but you can’t expect it to not blow up. Extremists will be everywhere and it is a classic example of extremists taking over.

It started in Finland spread over Scandinavia and has spread down to the Netherlands, where I currently live. At the moment what they are doing is patrolling the streets, stopping extra long outside gay bars, and they can not be stopped because they are just patrolling… and this is what I have been reading from comments on articles: some people are actually positive against having a neighborhood watch. Yes, you want someone that literally pours hate down your throat to protect you. No, that protection is not for me.

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In English: “The Soldiers of Odin has started patrolling around gay bars in central Stockholm, dear siblings: BE SAFE!” – “Yes, we have started. We are going to cleanse the sickness.”

And for the Dutchies:
Burgerwacht ‘Soldiers of Odin’ actief in Nederland: behulpzaam of walgelijk?
I think you can translate it to English on the site or via google translate.

Their facebook page has literally a ton of people screaming about exterminating anything that is not white, cis and normal…


I have also been seeing a lot of “WTF” shit regarding being transgender…

For example, in England and Wales, you can be reported for RAPE if you do not tell your sex partner that you are transgender. What the flying fuck? So i.e being trans* makes you a rapist. What the fuck is that kind of logic? I do not think that if you are trans* that you have to tell anyone unless you really want to! It is your own body and identity, if you are a female you are a female, if you are a male you are a male. No one should be able to tell you different. If a cis/anything man/woman sleeps with a trans* man/woman they slept with the gender they saw. Simple. There is no fucking trickery!

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This is the link for anyone that wants to read through it:
Trans people face jail for rape if they have sex without sharing their gender history

So now you can legally be discriminated against if you are anything besides CIS. I am glad that the Netherlands have nothing like that. This is just so damn medieval and backward.


I will leave these here.

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A small Q&A #3…

Well, back to the segment! Let’s handle those hard and tough questions that everyone seems to care about… First part: A small Q&A #1… and second part: A small Q&A #2….


The genitalia what is gonna happen?” … oh how many times haven’t we gotten this as a first reaction? Why can’t people just be happy that Michelle is finally aiming for her own happiness and quality of life? No, it is all about the genitalia. Frankly, it is not anyones’ goddamn business what will be/is/was in anyones’ pants. But to be more precise, because this blog is more personal and detailed I feel an obligation to do so.

Michelle’s dysphoria is not against her own penis, it is her overall body, the sex she was born in and how she perceives herself. So she will not go through with the reassignment surgery, IF in the future that she feels that her penis is the last part that contributes to her depressive side, then she will go through with it and for my own part, I do not care that much. I did not fall in love with her penis, I did not get engaged with her penis. Sure there will be a big change, considering how it will be in our sex life, but we will try to find more ways to connect mentally, physically and emotionally. I am looking forward to it! If it now happens.

Her dysphoria goes even a bit deeper than just “I need to remove it”, she can not perceive the surgery as something that will give her happiness, she just wants to have been born as a CIS female. I do not know the struggle but I imagine plenty of trans* already goes through this too and can recognize it. The surgery can make people happy and it can also aid their negative thoughts…


Are you sure HE is not just gay?” Ok, because anyone volunteerily goes through this just so people can remark on their sexuality… well, we are quite sure SHE is gay, but would prefer to be labelled as a pansexual – genitalia does not matter, like it apparently does in your world – nothing wrong with that, but do not expect everyone to see it like you do, it is called common sense… and you refusing to use the pronouns Michelle feels comfortable with shows me that you are a very disrespectful person and I would probably not want you close to me or her.


Wow, you do fucking everything to get attention…“… What? Did you really trample all over Michelle and her bravery just because you think she does it for the attention? NO ONE would go through intense depression, suicidal thoughts and identity issues, confusion volunteerily, and then finally being able to be who they are and here you fucking come and step on them? Oh, if I wasn’t against violence… I would smack that bigotted head right off your neck, must be quite a burden to be that fucking retarded. Try to view the world in a more positive and less distrusting way and you might make progress as an individual.

I know this segment got a bit heated, sorry for losing my temper, but it is still stuff I do get angry over because it is such a sign of disrespect and bad character, you should cut people like this out of your life as soon as possible.


Well, there was one big and two smaller segments, I got furious typing them and now I need to calm down for a while. This might be the end of the Q&A – sorry and not sorry. There isn’t anything more to type about it and the general questions that people seem to give a shit about got answered now.

Sorry to you nice folks reading, I know you wish her well and us happiness, I wish it back, hugs and kisses! There will be more blogposts about me and Michelle in the future, less negativity more positivity!

Birthday Nela~

Today is the day my mother gave birth to me, the day that we all know as a birthday, the day that is significant because… what? Meh, it is like any other day to be honest. I am just one year older than what I was last year on this day.

I ordered a second batch of manga books for my birthday though! Wihoo! Kuchibiru Tameiki Sakurairo and Suki tte Ii na yo Volume 2! English titles: Kisses, Sigh and Cherry Blossom Pink – Say I Love You Vol. 2. Will show images in next blogspot tomorrow, when they arrive, yay!

I also received “Overwatch: Origins” from Michelle earlier this month and two other mangabooks (which is in another blogpost already). We are going to celebrate my birthday with Michie’s mother and maybe her mothers husband – depends on if he is going biking or not.

Going to the barber tomorrow for Michelle, we are looking into this kind of :hairdo:. With more layers in the hair and bangs ending above her eyebrows. She will look so good!

I have some American friends on Facebook and the links about the public restroom law show me that they are very open-minded, just like most people in Europe – which make me happy. But when you start reading comments, it really… infuriates me how much some Americans really enforce the stereotype that we Europeans have of them: A – they are inbred hillbilly bigots, no matter where they live. B – most religious Americans are 100% A. C – that America is living still in the dark ages. Most comments I see (not only about the public restroom matter) on any kind of topic regarding peoples’ happiness, show that most religious Americans or religious people overall do not wish for everyone’s happiness. And here I thought that religion teaches love and compassion, boy I seem to be oh so wrong.

If I have offended some American readers, I am very sorry, obviously if you are reading this blog you are not the A – type. Sadly this is the stereotype we have, we grew up with this stereotype about America and Americans, and sadly, on public places such as FB/articles/other websites the Americans that scream the loudest really helps to further this stereotype on. I know that a lot of Europeans are not as open-minded and I know that a lot of Americans are open-minded, but in both cases, they are minorities. I would say the European example being the better option out of both.

I have to stop reading 9gag comments at the same time, more 9gaggers than what I want to believe upvoted a comment saying that sexualities are genders. My whole world is crumbling to pieces, I did not know I was this misinformed! Sarcasm aside, 9gag is a fucking shithole.

It saddens me to see that so many people still believe that love is unnatural, that being who you truely are is unnatural and that it is alright for them to comment hideous things about people because of it.

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I can’t even…