Living With a Transgender

A different post compared to what I generally write about. I know it is still a touchy subject – looking at how many people condemn transgender-related topics (I see so much positivity from the people I hung out with before, which makes me happy that they are supporting the cause of making people understand the concept – but I also see so much negativity daily on my feed, I keep on hiding posts everyday that I really don’t want to see or I just remove the person from my friendlist).

I live with Sebastiaan, as it has been known and shown throughout this blog. He is transgender; as in he was born into a gender he does not identify with and with the norm of “you gotta be a man, be more masculine etc” it tears on him quite a lot knowing that he is in the “wrong” (if I can say it like that) gender. He has been through a lot and I am wanting to support him with all my might through it. So this is more or less a post about how it is living with a transgender (male to female) – there isn’t much difference though, so I hope I don’t disappoint you guys – if so, well fuck you too. I will be using the male gender pronoun – don’t get offended, it was ok with Seb from the start, he will tell me when he wants me to use a different pronoun. This will not be about emotions/confusions/what ifs/etc, it will just be what I probably would not have with any of my other boyfriends – so the post is about my OWN experience living with a loved one that might differ from the social norm, might not be yours or your friends’.

As said; this is not a generalization of transgendered relationship. This is just what I have right now that I would not have with any of my ex boyfriends or future ones – in my head – if I wouldn’t have found Seb

Very good smelling hygiene products i.e schampoo, body lotion, deodorant. I myself have no sense of smell, but knowing that we still go for the same products that I think and he knows smells good is awesome. Just mindblowing awesome to be honest.

Almost identical taste in clothes, we differ somewhat; he goes for the more flashy feminime and I go for the really subtle “I am not here”-hobo look. He can tell me what he thinks looks good on me/himself and what wouldn’t be flattering to wear. It is nice being able to discuss clothes with someone with the same taste – even if I only wear softpants and hoodies at the moment.

Makeup advice and help. You don’t even know how lucky I am that can ask for help with putting on false eyelashes/smooth out the eyeliner without poking me in the eye (I do that, yes… lol) etc. I can also ask for how to match colours to my eyes, how to make the green pop out etc more while still staying on the path I already wanted.

Interest in shopping for me/him. Whenever we walk into a store he always questions me about if I need any new makeup/shoes etc. He also helps me pick out stuff that looks good on me or would look good on me. Which I wouldn’t mind if he borrowed sometimes or just asked if he could use it etc.

Both sides of the gender spectrum. Nowadays he can appreciate his current looks and enjoys male clothes – which I love watching him in, he suits so much. Everything looks good on him! I have a strong bond to male clothing, which I know can’t suit me as well as it would suit him. He also can rock a heavenly beard, which he doesn’t mind having but he doesn’t enjoy having it. But he has what suits him right now, in this time period, which makes him a minor fashionista hehe.

“That’s it” I guess. He is as loving as he is caring, which is the only point I want to emphasize. He is the love of my life and whatever he decides I will be with him and support him and the choices he will or won’t make.

Might make a more emotional/thought driven post than this sometime but maybe not. 

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