Guild transfer!

We decided to transfer the guild from Outland to Silvermoon. Epoch – Silvermoon! Will be weird at first, but at least we can continue using our guildsite, just have to change the WoWprogress page to a better one. Or maybe restyle the website into something new? Maybe something minimalistic.

The guild will be transferring because of that the server we are on (Outland EU PvP) is seriously dying – in my opinion. We weren’t able to get applications for two weeks, says so much, even with spam macroing the recruitment message. We also had good players quit the game or just plainly leave the guild, in the end we could barely make raids happen and a Wednesday without a raid – a very serious sign of the guild dying. Me and Sebi also had troubles with the officer/GM status and we got stressed out over previous mentioned things. So Seb and I decided to transfer, we brought it up on TeamSpeak and we got a lot of responses like “we will come with you” so we decided if we get enough people, we will migrate the whole guild over. If we do, me and Seb are completely fine with staying GM/Officer, on a more populated server we will not have to worry about the same things as on a dead server.

I am exhausted and at the same time satisfied with myself. I went to the doctor with Seb to make an appointment for therapy. I’ve had it since I went into teenage-years. As a child (5-10) I was a bright and confident little shit, must say. Showed everyone my drawings, forced people to read my future “books” and stuff. Then it progressed downwards like how it always does. I was raiding yesterday (heroic, not enough people for mythic) and suddenly got really hungry. So Seb told me that I could go to the snackbar, so I decided to do so. Went down with the bankcard, put on my shoes and looked outside through the glass in our door… I suddenly felt the panic rise up in me and I started crying and I couldn’t stop. The longer I sat there staring the more I cried and the more panic I felt. I was sweating and shaking and bawling my eyes out while trying to breathe so I stood up as soon as I could and started taking out potatoes and hamburgers (which weren’t good apparently) from the freezer because I knew I couldn’t go out – and I am so glad I did not let it progress into a panic attack…

I can’t talk to my dad about this because he denies it all, that I can talk to him just fine so I can’t have any other problems… and if I just type anything to my sister Micaela it feels like I am bragging about “look how ill I am huahuheuuhe” and I don’t know. It is also a little bit hard to explain to others, such as Seb or the doctor today, because it sounds so ridiculous: “I am afraid of the outside and it’s inhabitants”. By the way; I do tell Seb everything I have on my mind usually, but he has his own issues to deal with and it is not nice to load stuff onto him when he has his own stuff…

I want to fix my problems at the same time I don’t want to, it will be hard and it will be horrible and I think during the process I will try to quit it. But I will try to remain in control of my emotions…

Will have to ask Seb’s mother when she can come over with Seb’s birthday gift to me, she forgot it in her car when they came here to celebrate (they took Frans car). So I can finally take photos of the gifts!

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