Herrooow -(๑☆‿ ☆๑)ᕗ

Credits to the author of “Girls of the Wirld’s”

Long time no see – like usual. I will start trying my best with updating my blog, it has just been laziness and weird-mood-days lately so I haven’t been able to write any blogposts.

We got good news yesterday, we do not have to pay the extra fee to our old commune (long story, can’t be bothered telling it right now). It was a nice letter for once.

Seb bought me seven different nail polishes, I’ve been trying to create ombre/gradient looking nails but I’ve been failing nonstop. So right now I have no polish on my nails, gonna try again tomorrow. We also bought more decorations for our house, love them! There are only night-time pictures though, I am so sorry for this. They are all pictured down below!

Also some more drawing pad pictures! The one with the red hair is from a manga I literally love “Girls of the Wild’s” and the other one is just a tiny doodle. We’ve been eating a lot of muffins lately, chocolate muffins with white chocolate cream inside, gaaaaargl.

Been playing a lot of Archeage, pretty fun game, decent graphics and game-play. Should ask Tristan to join me and Seb, I got Taga to join us!

I’ve been really sleepy today, bah. Been sleepy for a couple of days – I never know if I slept good during the night or not.

Argued with my father a little while ago, do not know when I can apologize – not that he ever will. We started arguing over old/recent stuff concerning mom and my sister. He has this huge grudge, even though it was 10-12 years ago they divorced, and he can’t let my mom just be. I told him that you can forgive and forget, you do not have to hate your own daugther for socializing with her mother (he apparently hates our mother – STILL?!) – we have two parents so – and that did not go well with him. It was the first argue ever in my and Seb’s home, I was yelling and my father was yelling. Bah… he really needs to let go of this stupid grudge, otherwise he will continue to be miserable. I tried to sneak in online-dating for him but apparently that hurts his pride and he would “never ever do anything like that”. My sister once said that our family was broken, but in my opinion it isn’t. One person in our family is broken and that person is one of our middle-points; our father. He refuses to find help to fix the broken pieces and he can’t take anyone telling him that it might be better for him to stop drinking, stop pitying himself and stop living in the past – if it is even mentioned when he is drunk it turns into this huge pity party where we are all against him and we need to choose a side and stick with it or we can fuck off – I do not get this kind of logic he is parading, there are no sides! 

I refuse to live in the past and “hate” my mother because it was the appropiate thing to do living with him and he can’t see this as a choice for himself… I am the most neutral person in my family-bunch (I believe at least and so I’ve been told) – I can see all the sides to everyone’s part of the story (there is never a true story, there are versions and angles of one though) and I am tired trying to think about solutions for every little thing regarding him and fixing his relationships (at the moment he has fucked up his relationships with almost all his daughters for a petty little drunk-pity-party-session). I am just so happy I am not living in Sweden, in the apartment next to my dad and having to deal with his mess. Now the only mess that can reach me is on whatsapp from him and my family all together. 

Sorry if this doesn’t make any sense or if it is written grammatically incorrect. I just had to get it off my chest, with all the stuff we have to deal with here in the Netherlands this stuff just piles up on it. So had to get it off. I know most of the people I know don’t read my blog at all, only some people and most traffic on my page is from USA/other countries. I know you all don’t know me whatsoever, but that is what this blog is for – to bring an insight in another person’s life, decisions, problems and creativity.

I hope it at least gives you some sort of satisfaction to read my rants. Thank you all for bearing with my selfishness. 
( ^◡^)っℒℴѵℯ 
Nela
Doodle time, muffin in my brain!
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