I just… caught myself thinking about a lot of stuff. Related to Sebastiaan, our relationship, our present, our past and our future. I got overwhelmed, just a little bit. But in a really good way.
I can’t remember when we started “dating”, I will count a half year/a year before we met in real life, that’s when we both started showing signs of being serious for each other. Like no other relationships, no other kind of romantic interests etc. But the point in time where we got together, I can’t even remember it. So I will just put our “start-date” in October. Which we have passed, so in that sense we have been together for a year, but it has been a lot longer, A LOT longer. But it makes more sense with that, or well – sense and sense – I can remember it better with that kind of thought pattern.
I can see myself living with this man for the rest of my life, I can see us raising children together, sharing happy and sad events in both of our lives. I really wish this to come true.
My feelings for him is unmatched, I have never – NEVER – felt like this before. To explain further it only requires one sentence: “I thought feelings of attachment were the feelings of love”. But it isn’t, I understand that now.
I can literally see my ring-finger being crowned with an engagement-ring, not now, not soon, but later on.
We have our ups and downs, but who doesn’t? The important matter is that we both stick to each other and help each other to get over them with talking – the reason this came to my mind was because we always have the rule to discuss over matters that annoys/bugs us and yesterday I rambled out a lot of stuff to another person, which might have hurt Seb’s feelings. Which I want to avoid. We cleared it out though, so no harsh feelings the days after, I hope, or it might ruin Christmas – for both of us, hopefully not.
I wish I had all our old stuff we shared/talked about/photo’d on my computer, stacked in a large folder. But I don’t. I’ve formatted and deleted – never backed up, yay… – all my stuff. Which was a really bad move. Really bad. Hopefully it is all in my memory!
I’ve never met a person more supportive, kind, loving, funny, handsome, cozy or awesome like Sebastiaan, I can’t compare my father to him (whole different kind of relationships, huhu). I wish we will last for a long time, long long long long time!